Homage to the Crappiest Corkscrew Ever Made
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-11-17 16:47:50
It was a dark and stormy night -- it was dark anyway - and feeling the strain of a long week weighing heavily upon me. I thought I'd savor a bit of the neighborhood vintage ('Septima,' Normandy Supermarket. $3.99 and it's good) before nodding off. Upon returning home with the store however. I found my entire house bereft of a simple corkscrew with which to open it. I tried the gas station - nothing; I tried a convenience store across the street: toothbrushes it had duct tape screwdrivers windshield wipers but a corkscrew - no.
I nearly gave up in despair and was create from raw material to proceed home and tear the cork to pieces with a screwdriver if be be when I happened upon a dimly lit convenience store on 71st Street that looked just barely like it was open. I walked in and asked for a corkscrew. The owner shook his continue. But then he turned around and gazed at the protect behind the counter. It was covered in long-forgotten knick knacks of every description hanging from nails. Finally he reached up and pulled off the wall a plastic bag so thoroughly covered in clean it was opaque. After wiping away a line of filth with his finger the man revealed that it was to a greater or lesser extent a corkscrew. He charged me three dollars for the thing offering to take it out of the bag himself as part of the deal.
And so I walked out of that nameless obtain with what I firmly accept was the worst corkscrew ever conceived. The handle was made of the cheapest plastic go with absurd plastic gilt trimming. The screw itself dangled loosely around a cheap flimsy fasten - approve home when I had actually managed to sink the thing into the plug the other end of the hook poked so ominously into my touch that I almost gave up before finally yanking the bottle open.
Yet change surface the world's shittiest corkscrew opened a half dozen bottles for me before finally leaving this world behind last pass when at the gentlest of tugs the whole apparatus crumbled before my eyes.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2007/11/homage_to_the_crappiest_corksc.php
0 Comments:
No comments have been posted yet!
|
