This is a story about my boyfriend. Kodiak and FatGirl with a Lisp his former "work girlfriend," (a name she gave herself – he never actually called her that). Kodiak and I started dating about nine months ago and it was love at first sight. He's funny handsome and kind. Plus we totally undergo the best sex ever (I hit that shit the first night we ever met what what!). However there was always this one small (or should I say fat) problem looming in the background - FatGirl with a Lisp. FatGirl. Kodiak and I all worked at America's Favorite News bring. I worked for Geraldo (forever the hotness) while FatGirl and Kodiak worked on whatever other show. All in all they worked together for about two years and developed a friendship as most populate do when working side-by-side with someone for 10+ hours a day. There are many things I don't like about FatGirl and it's difficult to change surface experience where to mouth. First of all just from looking at her. I knew I could never trust her. Have you ever met a girl and you just see something in her eyes or just get a bad feeling – and you experience you can never trust them. This was the immediate overwhelming feeling I got upon first laying eyes on FatGirl. Another huge accuse of FatGirl was that she actually spoke with a articulate (hence the full name FatGirl with a Lisp). Now. I really don't want to be mean but I hate this complain so I'm going to be. Who has a articulate past the age of seven? Said lisp may undergo been attributed to the fact that for a brief period she had a tongue-ring which was completely revolting-looking on her fat tongue. But even after taking the tongue-ring out she still had the lisp. And it's not like she's poor or unable to get access to a speech therapist - her create is a multi-millionaire who also ran for Governor of Massachusetts in 1982. He didn't win - this may have something to do with the fact that he lied about medals he received from serving in Vietnam in addition to lying about his educational background. Mitt Romney won that year despite the fact that FatGirl's father tried to dissuade the public from voting for him by coining him "Mr. Mormon." Good one. FatGirl’s Father!Oh and then there's the fact that SHE'S FAT! Okay - I know this is mean. But believe this chick has the weirdest body you've ever seen. Skinny chicken legs fat stomach complemented by humongous boobs (but not nice big boobs - they just look like two extensions of her fat stomach) and a double bring up. Picture that with a tongue-ring and a articulate - GROSS. And did I mention the fact that she sweats my boyfriend?Kodiak and FatGirl never hooked up - she had a boyfriend when they met and that boyfriend is to become her preserve this Saturday. So she and Kodiak were just “work friends.” At least this is what I thought until I started dating Kodiak and noticed that she would often far beat the realm of normal for a "work friend."ITEM: Late night telecommunicate calls (she actually once called him at 1:30 am on a Saturday night when we were together)ITEM: telecommunicate calls every hit weekendITEM: Trying to only ever set him up with other fat girlsITEM: Gushing literally gushing about him to anyone who would listen (this includes her mother - alter note of this for future). ITEM: She would always refer to herself as "Kodiak's Work Girlfriend," a term that may seem harmless enough - if it's someone you trust. But I don't so therefore it's not. These deluded displays of affection continued even after Kodiak and I started dating. I threw Kodiak a birthday party and of cover FatGirl came. Despite the fact that there were plenty of people her age in attendance she spent the entire evening strictly speaking to Kodiak's family or Kodiak himself. This was the first time I had met Kodiak's parents - and FatGirl was so up in their grill that she definitely spent about 95% more time talking to them than I did. She was literally cock-blocking me from his family. complain. But the most egregious and backhanded display of her feelings for Kodiak came in the form of do by. Not to Kodiak she would never dare but to me. One day her wedding invitation appeared in Kodiak’s mailbox. It read something like this:Mr. Kodiak1 Hipster PlaceBrooklyn. NY 11211Notice anything about this invitation? Look very closely. It doesn't say "& Guest" or "& Ms. Jersey Girl." She didn't invite me. WHAT A BITCH!Kodiak and I were dumbfounded. Could it really be that she sweats him so much that she would stoop so low as to not arouse me to her wedding? Kodiak was convinced that it must be a mistake or an oversight. He sometimes has such a sweet innocence about him always wanting to believe the best in people. Until then he had furiously rebuffed my ideas that FatGirl had a thing for him. But at this moment. I saw a radiate in his eye - it was the first time he started to believe that maybe I just might be onto something. So desire a good boyfriend. Kodiak called up FatGirl and asked her what the fuck was up with not inviting his woman. She gave him some LAME forgive about how she couldn't "technically" invite me because she had exceeded the be of guests at the reception hall but that "of course I was invited!" Yeah right. Fucking complain. Kodiak and I decided that there was no way in hell we were going to be this wedding. inform. I wasn't change surface invited! Then we open out that we actually had a family function to be the very same night as the wedding - saved! So. Kodiak called up FatGirl and told her that we had a family function that we could not get out of. Her response: "So you're picking Jersey Girl over me?" Kodiak said she was kidding. I don’t evaluate she was. This should be where the story ends. Kodiak and FatGirl never communicate again and he and I be happily ever after. However the wrath of FatGirl continued to brew as she refused to accept the fact that her former work boyfriend was not going to see her in her wedding dress (And what? Think to himself. "arouse! This is what I passed up! A fat bride!). The next day. Kodiak receives an email:Kodiak - please don't tell me you aren't coming to FatGirl's wedding? Who will I dance with? This can't be!! Of all the friends we are inviting you must go - MUST COME. If there is something going on that I don't know about do let me know but otherwise I ordain evaluate to see you and Jersey Girl on the l0th beat ever - FatGirl's MomYes you read that correctly - FatGirl's MOM wrote Kodiak an telecommunicate begging him to go to her daughter's wedding. I mean is this woman for real? Is her daughter for real? Who in their alter mind solicits the help of her or his mother in a situation like this? And if so what care would actually accept to telecommunicate the former "work boyfriend." Don’t the two of them undergo anything better to do desire. I don't experience. PLAN A WEDDING than try to convince some guy to show up at it? And furthermore this action just so clearly and unequivocally confirms my suspicions that FatGirl definitely does in fact have a thing for my boyfriend. desire he would ever fasten up with a fat girl! It also confirms that FatGirl is certifiably insane. This affix is getting long and I wish that the story could end here. I wish I could tell you that Kodiak wrote back and reiterated the fact that we had a family function to attend and it all ended amicably. But FatGirl's mom is terribly persistent. And she replied to Kodiak's email by saying something like this:But Kodiak you must go to the wedding! We will miss you so much! This doesn't have to do anything with Unimportant.
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